Illustration of a messy, dark room with floating socks, creepy drawings, a skull, and Peppa Pig figures on the floor.

I’ve packed up my socks and my sad little chair, I’m leaving this room with despair in the air. I thought I’d be free from the madness and mess... But housing assignments have left me in stress. I’m leaving this room—this tight little tomb, Where sleep was a myth and the air soured with gloom. Where logic dissolved around quarter past three, And I turned to recreational NyQuil for peace. The room, on its own, wasn’t evil or cursed— Not cheerful, not bright, but it could have been worse. The room itself was just fine, a standard domain— Until Claire moved in and drove me insane. My dear roommate Claire—we got on for a week, Then silence grew sharp and her presence turned bleak. No banshee, no myth, no infernal hotel Could echo the mood of that cinderblock hell. She snored like a grizzly with bronchitis rage, A diseased little bear trapped inside of a cage. She groaned through the night, a continuous roar, Snoring out entire Greek chapters—and more. Her Peppa Pig figurines stood on display, Watching me closely both night and day. She filmed ASMR with eerie care, And I sat breathing the room’s heavy air. She repped Delta Gamma, the DG Dick Gobblers, A sisterhood known for their desperate squabbles. Not the queens of the scene, more the court jesters, Their reputation marred by social disasters. But I’m done with this room—good riddance, goodbye! I’m done with the drama, the tension, the sighs. I thought I’d escaped — I didn’t think I’d make it, But the horrors aren’t over; next See more