A small office. The Interviewer sits at a desk. The Applicant enters. Interviewer: Good morning! Please, have a seat. Applicant: (sits, immediately knocks over a cup of pens) Oops! Sorry, I’m just so excited to be here! I love desks. Big fan. Interviewer: (raising an eyebrow) Right. Let’s begin. Tell me about yourself. Applicant: Well, I’m a people person. Also a cat person. And, on weekends, a plant person. I talk to my ficus. Interviewer: Interesting. What would you say is your greatest strength? Applicant: My biceps. Want to see? (flexes awkwardly) Interviewer: (ignores flexing) And your greatest weakness? Applicant: Kryptonite. Also, cheese puffs. I can’t resist them. Interviewer: (sighs) This job requires attention to detail. Are you detail-oriented? Applicant: Absolutely. For example, you have a little bit of mustard on your tie. Interviewer: (looks down, embarrassed) That’s… not possible. I don’t eat mustard. Applicant: (leans in, whispers) It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Unless they ask. Interviewer: (clears throat) How do you handle stress? Applicant: I usually scream into a pillow. Or, if I’m at work, I just mime screaming. Like this. (makes silent screaming face) Interviewer: (stares, speechless) Do you have any questions for me? Applicant: Yes. What’s your Wi-Fi password? And, do you validate parking for skateboards? Interviewer: (stands up) Thank you for coming in. We’ll be in touch. Applicant: (stands, shakes Interviewer’s hand with both hands) Thank you! I See more